MYFO: OPEN LETTER TO AN ASSHOLE

Melt Your Face Off wrote a fantastic Open Letter To Gary Bettman regarding the latest ownership fiascos, including New York Rangers ownership being threatened over a dispute regarding control of their website, and Boots Del Baggio's "backdoor dealings", the latter being a topic about which he pleads ignorance.

Now here’s the kicker…you claim you didn’t know this fraternity-style
circle-jerk was going on. I’ll repeat, again: HOW DO YOU LET THAT HAPPEN? You
are the commissioner for a top-flight sports league in the most industrialized
nation in the world. You are supposedly the most powerful man in your sport.
Now, you claim that while owners are lending each other money to keep the
franchises in their own little AllTel Circle of Friends, you thought everything
was hunky dory?

The basic problem with the NHL is what has been apparent for a while now: Li'l Gary only cares about making the owners money. He couldn't give a sh!t about the sport, the players, the fans, the tradition, etc. The owners are now doing fine under his regime (and there was a playoffs ratings bump* this year) and thus the league is a success, so who cares if the owners are involved in borderline illegal activites?

(* Let's not forget that the only reason the ratings were up this year for the playoffs was 1) they couldn't go anywhere BUT up, and 2) there were two big hockey cities represented in the finals. If it were San Jose and Tampa Bay, I guarantee the ratings would have sucked. )

Why can't anyone hold the commissioner responsible? Why isn't he at all accountable for this? Former commish Gil Stein resigned after far less controversy; then again, Bud Selig remains in charge of the MLB.

God, I fucking hate that little troll.

FIRE THIS FUCKING GUY ALREADY!

(Oh, that's right. The owners would have to vote him out, and they're the ones who would be hurt most by his absence.)

BETTMAN ERA A TOTAL FAILURE

By STEPHEN BRUNT from Saturday's Globe and Mail: BETTMAN ERA A TOTAL FAILURE

Basically, the article points out that biggest gains in the NHL were among the 6 Canadian teams, who account for a whopping 31% of gate revenue. If it weren't for their success and the strong Canadian dollar, the NHL would look a lot worse off.

Bettman sucks.

BETTMAN SUCKS: MAKING GAMES INVISIBLE IN THE STATES

Here in the States, it royally sucks being a hockey fan.

NHL broadcasts routinely get miniscule ratings, but instead of giving the broadcasts away to increase interest they only make all the games visible to "Center Ice" package buyers. Those of us with VERSUS were stuck with the brutal Habs/Bruins 5-0 blowout last night, due to the channel's "exclusivity" deal. Why couldn't they switch to the other game? I had to watch the Ovie-fueled Kaps komeback against the Flyers on a semi-illegal streaming website on Justin.tv. Meanwhile, those of us with NHL Network who wanted to catch some highlights afterwards were treated with a "classic" broadcast of a 1979 playoff matchup of the Lyers/Fishstix.

What the H-E-double-hockey-sticks, NHL?

NHL owners are quite happy with the money they're making due to the salary cap and revenue sharing that they could care less about extra potential income that an increase from 82 to 84 games could bring (which I disagree with; if anything, there should be LESS regular season games). They certainly don't give a shit if American hockey fans can see the games.

Hey Bettman: you suck.

BETTMAN SUCKS: AD-NON-SENSE

For the upcoming Stanley Cup playoffs, the NHL in its inept wisdom has decided that despite every available inch of the boards being plastered with advertisements, and various corporate logos around the arena and painted on the ice, there really isn't enough advertising assaulting your eyes during a given broadcast. Therefore, they've decided to put even more ads on the screen especially for the home viewers in the form of "virtual ads" displayed on the glass. (Whenever I hear terms like "enhance branding" I want to puke blood.) I recall seeing something like this on MSG and recalling that it was distracting and looked like complete shit. Who's idea was this? Some jerkass douchebag (Jimmy Burnette) who used to work at Fox "Glow Puck" Sports.

So we're stepping ever closer to seeing ads on the goalies (THE ROCK, on Brodeur's chest of course), the goal crease (LABATT'S BLUE), on the coaches foreheads (GOLDENPALACE.COM), and on the Cup itself (TWINKLE SILVER POLISH). Everything can be sold nowadays. This country has turned into just one big corporate gangbang (as Bill Hicks used to say), so just get used to it.

I will award $500 to the first person who discovers a way to display BETTMAN SUCKS (or better yet, garybettman.blogspot.com) across the glass during a Stanley Cup broadcast either on VERSUS or NBC (I'm not picky). God, I can't fucking stand the man.

Please do this for me.

BETTMAN IS APPARENTLY BOOED EVERYWHERE HE GOES

Here's a clip of Gary Bettman at the 2007 NHL Entry Draft, and yes, the Columbus fans booed him. I have no idea why, but it's probably because he sucks.



It really is embarrassing to have this guy as the commissioner for the great game of hockey. I wonder if he gets booed while eating out at a restaurant or when he picks up his dry cleaning.

BETTMAN: CELEBRATING 15 YEARS OF SUCKITUDE

Yesterday marked the 15th anniversary of Gary Bettman's tenure as commissioner of the NHL. Like the movie Groundhog Day, I keep waking up to find that loathsome little weasel still has the job.

A brief review of what has happened on his watch:

• Two work stoppages: one a labor strike that reduced the season to 48 games, and the other a lockout that obliterated an entire season;
• Greenlighting the moving of teams out of Quebec, Minnesota, Winnipeg and Hartford;
• Allowing questionable owner groups to control teams, such as Chicago and Buffalo;
• Putting teams in Southern cities with weak hockey fan bases, such as Tampa, Nashville, and Atlanta;
• Dilution of talent due to reckless overexpansion;
• Poor marketing of its most talented players;
• Disregard for tradition by renaming divisions and conferences with generic geographic names;
• Staging ponderous events to increase publicity in European locales despite flagging interest in the U.S.;
  
• Economic growth embarrassingly outpaced by NFL, MLB, NBA and NASCAR;
• Signing a long term contract with a network that will limit its visibility in the national market;
  
• Reducing the marketability of the sport's television rights, which has plummeted from from $600 million with ESPN in 1998 to $72.5 with Versus this season.

Need I go on?

Many people will argue that he's done a fantastic job. It turns out that these people are assholes and their opinions are wrong. This man, whether directly or indirectly, has had a hand in relegating a once proud sport to an also-ran. He is universally loathed by fans and booed in every arena. But despite how many times he claims that "hockey fans are the best fans on the planet", all that seems to matter is that the owners are making money, which they've accomplished by selling the soul of the sport.

Fuck you, Gary Bettman. You suck.

GARY BETTMAN SUCKS: THE BLOG

Hello there!

Welcome to GARY BETTMAN SUCKS: THE BLOG. A member of the EYE-OPENER MEDIA GROUP, a proud family of hate blogs. More to come!